Flip the Script

What scripts in your life do you need to flip? by Tammy Darling

It seems the older I get the more I desire to live from a place of authenticity, to simply be the me I was created to be. But throughout my multiple decades, I’ve picked up a lot of thoughts that turned into beliefs—beliefs that aren’t true to who God and God’s Word say that I am. So, in order to discover the real me, I’ve decided to take those long-held negative, lying, self-defeating thoughts captive as 2 Corinthians 10:5 instructs and flip the script! 

I’m not good enough … Through Him, I am more than enough.  

The core belief that I’m not good enough has been with me nearly all my life… but it’s not true. After all these years, I am finally seeing that. Not just seeing it, but actually believing it. 

Every day we are inundated with images, expectations, and internal voices that say we’ll never measure up. Measure up to whom? To what? We were never meant to stare and compare. I’m officially dropping that nonsense. 

No matter what I look like or what I am going through, I am still enough. More than enough. In fact, Romans 8:37 (NIV) says, “we are more than conquerors through him who loved us.” And that is more than enough for me. 

Things will never change … Lots of things are changing. 

In an ever-changing world, it sometimes seems like the things I want to change don’t. Like the Israelites in the wilderness, I feel like I’m going in circles, facing the same thing over and over. 

But when I stop the hamster wheel and take inventory, I can see that lots of things are changing. I tend to be impatient and want to see transformation happen immediately. I’m learning to recognize and celebrate the little things, the small changes, and to enjoy the journey. God is always working in my life, even if I don’t always see it. 

I’m a failure … My mistakes don’t define who I am. 

Logically, I know we all make mistakes. But when I make mistakes, I tend to take them way too personally. I beat myself up, label myself a failure and slap that label onto my core belief that I’m not good enough. Toxic thoughts tend to lead to more toxic thoughts. 

Increasingly, I am truly believing that my mistakes don’t define who I am. And when I sin, that doesn’t define me either. God alone has the right and authority to label and define who I am. I’m going to stick with my Manufacturer’s labeling. 

I’m ugly … I’m my own brand of beautiful. 

For various reasons, I’ve struggled with my looks my entire life. Even hearing that I am “fearfully and wonderfully made” (Psalm 139:14, NIV) made no difference. It’s not that I didn’t want to believe, I just couldn’t. 

But the more that I’ve been flipping the script in all areas of my life, the more I am genuinely able to believe that I’m not ugly. I got so tired of comparing myself to others and falling short that I decided to love myself for the God-created person I am, and I began utilizing self-care techniques that have made a huge difference in my life mentally, physically and emotionally.  

I need to be in control … I need to surrender all control. 

Because of a troubled childhood, I’ve always felt the need for control, so I could feel more secure. Fast forward to adulthood and the effort to micromanage everything and everyone was just too much. On the fast track to a mental breakdown, I had to let go. 

Surrendering all was the best decision I could have made. And as irony would have it, full surrender brought the security I’d always longed for. Knowing God really does have my back allows me to rest in Him and trust that He really does have it all figured out and it will be good. 

No one “gets” me … I am unique and think unlike anyone else.  

I’ve spent most of my life feeling misunderstood and even lamented to God on numerous occasions that “no one gets me.” He assured me that He does. And that makes me smile. 

Part of my being “fearfully and wonderfully made” is the fact that I am unlike anyone else by design. It’s not a flaw; it’s intentional. And so, I’m learning to embrace my quirkiness. I’m a bit eccentric with an unusual sense of humor … and I’m okay with that. 

This pain will never end … The story isn’t over. 

I’ve been through a lot of stuff in my life, but none so emotionally painful and heartbreaking as the last five years. I’m still reeling from the aftershock. The tsunami of indescribable pain makes me wonder sometimes if the pain will always be with me. I say NO! 

I believe my breakthrough is coming. In fact, I have already experienced myriad healing this past year. More is on the way. Healing and wholeness are my portion. I am not the pain that has been placed upon me via choices not of my own making. The pain will end; God is not finished. Because it’s not yet good, the story isn’t over. 

It’s my fault … I’m not responsible for other people’s choices. 

Not everything is my fault. Sometimes other people’s choices affect us negatively. Hurt people hurt people. And that cycle continues until someone says, “No more!” 

Recognizing that I am not responsible for the choices other people make took a load of guilt and shame off me. Some burdens we aren’t meant to bear. Even though there may be some unpleasant consequences we have to face as a result of someone else’s choices, we do not have to accept the blame for choices they made. 

All hope is lost … Hope is arising.  

Setback after setback causes hope to take a hit. And “hope deferred makes the heart sick” (Proverbs 13:12, NIV). “Heart sick” is what I was when I nearly had a mental breakdown. As complete despair overtook me, silently I repeated, “Jesus, help.” In a matter of hours, I felt hope arising. Physically, I arose from my bed and bit by bit began to live again. 

The enemy wants us to believe that all hope is lost—for our nation, for our marriages, for ourselves—but it’s not. Because of Jesus, there’s always hope.  

These are just some of the ways I’ve learned to flip the script, to proactively do something about the thoughts and beliefs in my life that need to be changed so that they come into alignment with what God says. What scripts in your life do you need to flip?  

Tammy Darling is the author of 1,400 published articles and three books. She writes from her home in rural Pennsylvania.

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